findingmyrecovery:

Some days, if all you’re able to do is make Amazon wishlists and look at pretty pictures, that is totally fine. Don’t pressure yourself to be in a place you aren’t. Meet yourself where you are and take care of what you need. So if what you need doesn’t accomplish anything besides help you relax all day, that’s still a victory because you listened to your needs <3

@1 day ago with 285 notes

Wanted some input

I’m too sick to post more than about this right now, but I have been trying to solve this on my own and struggling over what to do. I figured, I try to be the one who takes on other people’s problems, maybe it’s ok to ask for some input myself. 

My birthday is in 3 days. I’ll be turning 21. Birthdays tend to be very very triggering. They were often the loneliest, most abuse days, and then with my ED the most trigger filled. It’s really hard for me to build up any positive associations with the day. I WANT to. I want to be able to celebrate, since I’m coming out of depression and taking care of myself and so I want to be able to celebrate being born, but I have no one to do it with. 

Now, birthdays are a reminder that besides online people, I don’t have anyone to hang out with. That I’m 21 and too ill to move out and can’t go to school, and other things I don’t want to think about regarding my health. 

So I’m torn between wanting to find SOMETHING to celebrate, even though I’ve already gotten my family to agree not to acknowledge the day this year. And wanting to just ignore it and pretend it’s any other day. I’m honestly not sure which would be better for my mental health. It’s not like I can do much physically anyway. But I told family no presents, don’t buy me anything, because I feel so guilty about my medical bills. I can’t tell if this is self care to help me avoid triggers or if I’m suppressing and avoiding. 

@1 day ago with 18 notes
#mental health #chronic illness #triggers #illness #self esteem 

Anonymous said: You made a good response on the self-dx post. Ive seen people claim "diagnosis privilege" and it pisses me off considering I didn't have a choice about it. I was taken into hospital, told I was staying there, that I wasn't leaving until they said so, had bipolar slapped on my head without so much of say so, and that I was taking meds whether I liked it or not. So privileged to get so unwell that that happened.

Exactly. People don’t always get a diagnosis because they go to a fancy treatment center and request one. It really isn’t any kind of privilege to get so bad off. Many people get diagnosed through involuntary stays and holds. 

@1 week ago with 15 notes

cicatrici-scolorite reblogged your post anonymous said:Actually, self-dia… and added:

considering depression is pretty much fatal for hundreds of thousands of people im not sure how you figure people can

Really? Do people not read things before they comment? I was speaking to someone who was referring to those who can’t afford treatment. I didn’t say “hey, everyone stay home and don’t get help for depression”. I was saying compared to mental illnesses like schizophrenia it’s relatively easier to treat on your own. Because over a quarter of the population experiences depression at some point, so it’s not like every case involves long term or recurring severe depression. It’s completely accurate that some cases can be managed without prescription medication and expensive treatment. Obviously not recommended to go with that, but again, I was talking to someone referencing those who can’t afford help.

@1 week ago with 5 notes
#depression #treatment 

Anonymous said: I've just had to fill in this health thing for work and I ticked the depression/anxiety box but I haven't ben diagnosed but I've been receiving camhs help since May and I'm pretty bad but I don't talk to my parents about it so when my mum looked at the ticked box she told me to untick it and just leave it which has made me feel really unloved and angry. what do you think?

I think it should be your choice. It can be really invalidating for someone to say that. Is it possible she wanted you not to check it because she thought you’d be better off having your work not know? I personally like to be up front about these things, but that’s just it, it’s personal. It should be entirely up to you whether you share that information or not. Remember that you know how you feel and what you’re going through. Maybe this could be a chance to discuss what you’re going through with your mom and help her understand you, but only if you think that would help

@1 week ago with 1 note
#depression #anxiety 
When a friend or family member is on a diet and it&#8217;s all they want to talk about 

When a friend or family member is on a diet and it’s all they want to talk about 

@1 week ago with 185 notes
#triggering #eating disorder #ed recovery #diets #recovery #frustrating #gif 
Watching people self-diagnose really complicated mental illnesses

Watching people self-diagnose really complicated mental illnesses

@1 week ago with 144 notes
#mental illness #mental health #self diagnosing #bad idea #gif 
Coming back from a therapy session where I figure out something huge about how my mind works

Coming back from a therapy session where I figure out something huge about how my mind works

@1 week ago with 339 notes
#self awareness #therapy #treatment #mental health #recovery 

I have been in crisis mode all day with my health and can’t seem to stop puking, so I sadly can’t respond to each person right now. But I reallllyy appreciate the messages and advice :) I’ll try to be nice to myself on my bday, without acknowledging the day so much that I get triggered. I need to accept that this is just where I am with it right now, so if I can’t celebrate that’s ok

@1 day ago with 17 notes
#birthday #advice #awesome followers #thank you #sickness 
"Well I know I would never take meds for that"

"Well I know I would never take meds for that"

@6 days ago with 337 notes
#mental illness #depression #anxiety #ocd #trauma #mental health #psychiatry #medication #gif 

findingmyrecovery:

There are many fears people have about the idea of recovering. These fears often make people feel conflicted and hesitant about fully committing to recovery. I’m not going to tell you that none of these fears will come true, because that wouldn’t be honest. Many of those fears do come true. The thing is, you’re ALL more capable than you think, so these fears aren’t as hard to handle as you’re telling yourself they will be. 

"I won’t know who I am anymore" Is this really such a bad thing? I mean, who with these issues really likes who they are? Losing some sense of self can be an opportunity to rebuild yourself and start over. It’s a chance to get back in touch with the parts of yourself you used to really like. 

"I’m going to feel things I don’t want to feel" Again, you already don’t exactly feel great. And you’ve felt this way for how long? You’re tough. Yes, you’re going to bring up painful feelings that your behaviors have been suppressing. Recovery often feels worse before it feels better. That initial misery makes some people say “ok, this isn’t for me” because they don’t realize it’s part of the process. You’re ripping open an old wound so that you can clean and bandage it properly this time. 

'I'll miss school/work” You’re going to miss it anyway if you continue down this path. And when you’re living like this, even when you’re physically in class it’s very difficult to be there mentally. Having to catch up is not the end of the world. Graduating late isn’t the end of the world. Taking care of yourself is worth it. And you’ll learn more in recovery than you ever could in school. 

"My eating disorder/self harm/addiction is what makes me special/unique" This is one of those lies these vices tell as an act of self preservation. These issues are very common and they usually follow the same patterns, so they are not special. They’re parasites feeding off of you. They’re not you. They’re not what define you. And once you’re free of them you’ll be able to explore new things and get reacquainted with yourself, and learn what actually makes you special. 

"I’ll lose all the work I’ve put into losing weight" Ok, so has all this work paid off? Has the weight loss made you happy and made you love yourself? I’m guessing the answer is no. You can keep denying yourself nutrition and keep losing weight, but it will never satisfy that desire to look at yourself and feel content. Eating disorder weight loss never satisfies and it’s never enough. 

"I’ll have to gain weight and I wouldn’t be able to deal with that" If you’ve got a good therapist/treatment team, they won’t just be treating the physical side of things. They’re not just going to feed you and feed you and expect you to deal with that. You’ll learn loads of coping skills and self talk and learn to manage your emotions in healthy ways. You’ll develop the tools you need to deal with body image issues. Remember that bodies aren’t all about measurements and weights. They’re about function too. You’ll be gaining energy, strength, healthy sleep, normal body temperature, healthy skin and hair, etc. When I gained my recovery weight, that part was difficult, but I also lost my acne, my skin stopped drying up, my hair got thick and shiny, etc. 

"I won’t have a way to cope anymore" Like I said above, you’ll be given many skills to cope. You’ll get replacements for your maladaptive coping mechanisms. Yes, they probably won’t work as well at first. They might not feel like much of anything. One of the biggest lessons you learn is how to sit with emotions. You learn that you don’t have to release every painful emotion, but that you can actually ride out the wave without harming yourself. So you can last long enough to make the healthy coping skills habits and give them long enough to start making a difference. And they really do start making a difference. You just have to give them a chance. It’s easy to look at one and say “no, that would never work for me” without even trying it. Give everything a shot and it can start giving you a clearer idea of what you want out of the skills and narrow down what might help. 

Fear doesn’t necessarily mean you need to run the other way. Facing fears can be really satisfying and empowering. The more you let fear decide things for you, the more that fear will grow. Recovery has many terrifying things about it, but try not to let that be your whole focus. It also has many freedoms and releases and joys in it. And YOU have the strength, intelligence, and capability to walk through everything scary about it, endure it, and come out the other side realizing that you’re a badass after all. 

@1 week ago with 281 notes

Anonymous said: Okay so I totally agree that self diagnosis is a bad idea but the thing is, I'm terrified of going to a doctor or a therapist and getting a real diagnose and having to face actual real confirmed-by-a-professional problems... Do you have any advice at all?

If you have a diagnosable problem, they’re still very real to you without having a name for them yet. I usually feel mainly better after getting a name for something. It’s often hard at first to admit that it’s very real and I can’t just ignore it and will it away. But once that feeling passes, it usually makes me feel more confident about managing it, because it makes it easier to figure out what treatments and coping skills will work. It can bring clarity and help you understand certain thoughts and behaviors that never really made sense before. And with a name for it, you can seek out others with the issue to remember that you’re not the only one who is going through it

@1 week ago with 5 notes
#diagnosis #mental illness #mental health 

Anonymous said: Actually, self-diagnosis ia all some people have. You cant assume that everyone is going to have the same privelege as you when it comes to health care.

Really? Using the privilege thing. Ok, first, I said “complicated mental illnesses”. It’s not hard to guess that you might have anxiety or depression or something of the sort. And those are the sorts of things that can sometimes be managed alone, so that’s different. Saying that you heard a voice, so you’re a paranoid schizophrenic, or you had a mood swing so you’re definitely bipolar has nothing to do with privilege. It can be dangerous and lead to self medicating. It can mean overlooking a serious physical illness because you don’t realize that hallucinations can be from a various neurological disorders or mood swings could be a hormonal problem. It usually involves assuming a lot of mental illness stereotypes to be true and making ignorant guessing based on those stereotypes. It’s better to say you have no idea what’s wrong, than to decide you know and guess very very wrong. 

@1 week ago with 28 notes
How I feel about therapists who don&#8217;t have actual degrees or qualifications, but attempt to treat mental illnesses anyway

How I feel about therapists who don’t have actual degrees or qualifications, but attempt to treat mental illnesses anyway

@1 week ago with 150 notes
#mental illness #mental health #more harm than good #therapy #psychology #treatment 
"No, it&#8217;s healthy, it&#8217;s fitspo, not thinspo"

"No, it’s healthy, it’s fitspo, not thinspo"

@1 week ago with 42 notes
#still not healthy #no fitspo #body image #self esteem #recovery #gif